![]() Sober travellers looking for a bit of buzz simply have to explore the professionally rumpled, bright and cavernous Crumpler bags( Crumpler is an Aussie outfit with attitude and style. Just turn up the TV volume and take the phone off the hook. If you have a gunny sack handy and the do-it-yourself urge persists, this may be a good time to attempt your very own Mother-in-Law-in-the-Bag. Pop into Recipe Bazaar ( for the low down on Edible Cookie Bowls, Milk Masala with saffron and even a cold cream concoction that can be applied to the skin (shortly before your mother-in-law comes home and applies an open palm to your butt for making such a mess). The durable "Chicken Tex" apparently protects Crumpler bags from "inclement weather and assassination attempts" At US$5.99 and absolutely no MSG, it’s a steal. And still in the inscrutable East, what could be better than a chic little Chinese Takeaway Handbag. The Wind-Up Sushi Deluxe set comes for US$14.99. Wind it up and watch the rice rolls take a hike across the table. It looks like a high quality edible wax display you’d see at a restaurant window. The Talking Dolphin Radio may interest you but the “stupidest” item of all is a Japanese sushi set. Grab your Stetson and six shooter and head out to tame the Wild Waist. Like the World’s Largest Underpants, size 98-100 (is that inches or feet?). Blazing a new trail for the world’s nuttiest gifts is the aptly named The Stupid Gift Shop ( It runs a delightful site with enough bells and whistles to catch your attention. Dagnabbit, which side was it? White? Brown?Īt That’s Bizzare ( pick up a Mile High overnight bag (£47), a Marilyn Monroe bag, or a Betty Poop doll for a trifling £30. It costs US$12.95 but, heck, now you can walk into the loo and rinse your face with confidence as you reach for the towel. Or browse through the rest of the paraphernalia, including George Bush Jack-In-The-Box Dolls, the hollering Mother-in-Law-in-the-Bag (complete with floppy grey hair and painted fingernails poking through the sack), Giant Fish Pillows (US$21.95) and the must-have Butt Face Towel with boldly designated (and coloured) areas for wiping different parts of your anatomy. ![]() Don’t let the bike fall.” The bike is “recommended for five-year-olds (with supervision) to those 55 years and beyond.” “Hey Mike, can I give you a lift? Yes? Great, hop on my back and say hello Bill, Bob and Harvey who are also hitching a ride. According to the manufacturer, the contraption is light enough to carry around, which is a great way to move about with a bike. Drive over him a few times to make sure it’s absolutely safe. It weighs 40 pounds – probably a heck of a lot less than your burger-binging junior – so perhaps you might put him under the bike, rather than atop, so you don’t ruin it too soon. Kids will enjoy the fibreglass motorised Kikker Phatty Bike, or pocket bike, as it is more correctly termed. Humphrey, the loving mutt, costs a bit more than the talking dude, but then I guess, actions speak louder than words But then, I guess, actions speak louder than words. At US$24.95, Humphrey costs a bit more than the dude. Strap Humphrey onto any object, squeeze his ear, and enjoy his “unique brand of affection”. Alternatively, if you want something classier, check out the Wacky Ceramic Smoking Baby and Humphrey the Humping Hound. You don’t want to ruin a wonderful evening. Just make sure the three AAA batteries are well charged. It’s enough to make a grown man cringe but SHE will adore him. Send us your Feedback / Letter to the Editor Share This PageĪll of one foot tall and priced at US$14.95, Mr Wonderful is available from Wonderfully Wacky ( Included in his prattle are choice sentences like, “Honey, just relax and let me make dinner tonight” and, “I think it’s really important we talk about our relationship”. On second thoughts, if you have a 10ft plasma telly, do you really need another loved one? This boy makes a terrific surrogate, spewing a steady drizzle of empathy and choice phrases, while you get straight to the best part of a romantic night with a loved one – clicking on that remote to bring futbol mundial rampaging across your 10ft plasma TV. So much so, you might want to get your wife a Mr Wonderful Doll. Just say bye or baa, empty the piggybank and head out on a soul-uplifting gift shopping binge. You get to dump your work on some hapless colleague – who still uses a desk calendar WITHOUT THOSE BIG RED SQUARES FOR HOLIDAYS – and head out to find a dream girl or, if you’re lucky, Dolly the Inflatable Sheep. ![]() ![]() Head turners and bizarre gifts from microwaveable teddies and inflatable sheep to the world’s largest underpants, sleek mobile phones and some amazing digital cameras.įESTIVE TIMES OF YEAR ARE WONDERFUL. The only difference between first class travellers and first class idiots is the price they pay.
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